Casey comes home tomorrow at dinnertime. It feels so good to say that.
He was able to call Tuesday via the emergency satellite phone that staffers are basically never allowed to use. It really helped to hear his voice, to have Wes hear his voice. I am so glad I answered the phone! Wes walked over to me as I was making breakfast and started saying "da-da-da" and then I could hear the faintest ringing from the phone on the bookshelf. With a massive surge of adrenaline, I dashed over in a slight panic and caught it just in time. I doubt I would have heard it if it hadn't been for Wes.
The days have gone pretty well, considering. Wes asks about Daddy a lot and usually gets quite upset about his whereabouts at least once or twice a day. Big breakdowns. He kisses his picture throughout the day and carries around the Magnadoodle when we draw Daddy on it. Wes has started calling every man we see "da-da". We watch the videos that Casey recorded for Wes. The video of him reading a book was a brilliant idea and works very well. Hearing his voice on the phone was helpful for both of us. I am thankful that Wes is old enough to be able to express that he is thinking about Casey when he is upset. It helped me to properly support him.
Night has been the most confusing for the little guy. Wes gets up each night for about an hour or an hour and a half which is extremely rare under normal circumstances. He bolts up in bed, looks around, says "da-da" then wants to get up. We then go to the living room where he intends to wait for Casey to come home, sometimes standing by the door. It's sweet and sad and happens at 2:30 or 3:30 AM. One night he went to sleep with a picture of Casey.
I think Wes really missed Casey, but I think he felt connected to him via pictures and videos and Casey's things, so I don't think he felt abandoned and I don't think it'll have any lasting negative effects. I think we managed it well. This all sounds so sad, but actually, we did have a lot of fun these past nine days, too. We read a lot of books, played with water. We didn't go to town much, but we danced a lot and had slews of fun playtime. We saw friends and family which was really nice.
I feel disembodied right now. I can now feel tiredness creeping in now that the finish line is in sight. This family may have a very sleepy Saturday.
I can hardly wait for our family to be together tomorrow night. I am so excited for Casey to be home. For me and for Wes. I look forward to melting into his arms in that way which happens after long separations. Goodnight.